Where to start? If you receive a positive diagnosis for cancer, or any other serious chronic illness, most likely you will feel overwhelmed, not knowing where to head towards. The days surrounding a diagnosis are days of torturous waiting: doctors appointments for more studies or images, get authorizations from the medical insurance, organize help around the house, etc.
The other day, I checked the journal I wrote during my treatment. It called my attention the title of my first entry: “The Deep Breath before the Plunge.” Wow! This was the exact description of how I felt at that moment, right after I received the news that I had cancer.”
Only the fans of Tolkien will recognize this phrase. In the extended version of “The Return of the King,” Gandalf and Pipping talked while waiting for the big trial, the final one, the one with no escape. It is imminent. There is total silence. Contained. You can smell fear. And there’s no other road but to jump, to go, the overcome the hurdle. In the scene, Pipping doesn’t want the “test” and says “ to be aboard of one -trial- which I can’t avoid, is even worse.”
Just before starting the treatment, sometimes, I imagined myself in front of a dark, horrible tunnel. Of course, I didn’t want to go in. However, another part of me was eager to start walking and going through it, to exit as soon as I could. That was always the best motivation I had to begin my road of superliving: a hasty road, with rhythm, moving forward; exiting ASAP.